We are obsess with sexuality but do we really understand love? Someone once said, “After wisdom, the best of God’s blessings is a good wife.” Recorded in Proverbs 18:22 are these words written by Solomon several millenniums ago. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.”
Today as I sit here, remembering yesterday while looking at the title of this blog, I cannot help but wonder about the concept of everlasting love. The thought exceeds my imagination. What I mean is, I know very little about what it means for something to last forever. Apart from a limited understanding concerning the God of eternity, everything I am familiar with exists in an unsettled world marked by constant change.
Another faceless truth, one related to love, which continues to baffle me, concerns the explanation of love. What is love? Some of my friends, including some of my Christian friends, have reasoned that love is no more than a decision to live in dedication with another, rationalizing that the degree of identity between two individuals is logically related to the strength of their commitment.
While this concept may work for those seeking to align themselves for practical reason alone, it does not work for me. I am sure that while love is obligated to be sensible and realistic, it has to be something more than just practical. Whatever that is, I am not sure. But it is more than commitment. It is more than relational. It is more than romantic. It is more than physical attraction. And it is more than sexual.
Trust – Respect - Adoration
The love I have in mind is much more than a science concerning social relationships. It is that which moves mountains and makes worlds go around. It is that which moves artist, poets and songwriters to the very edge of their abilities. It is that which encourages the ultimate sacrifice. This one I will love forever regardless of the cost. Don’t—don’t—don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, because I’m not talking about chasing our emotions or living some Disney movie in our minds. This love of which I speak, that which I have benefited by, is preceded only by trust and is based on respect, adoration, and cherishing.
This Friday, August 7th, Becky and I will celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary. Now I could give a million reasons why I enjoy being with Becky. Including the many things she does for me, the way she makes me feel, and so on, but that is not the reason I love her, rather those are the traits that make her a good person, a very good person. For some reason, fate being the only thing that makes any sense to me, this faceless mystery that I refer to as love presented itself to me in and through the person of Becky, an unyielding presentation that challenged any previous understanding of which I was familiar.
Loving Becky is totally different than anything else I have ever experienced. It’s not like embracing some comprehensive idea, but rather Becky is the comprehensive idea that I embrace as love. In other words, she embodies all that I would use to illustrate the meaning of love to another. Without Becky, there would be no human standard, in my life, by which to measure or define spousal love. In the end, (and I would love to hear from you concerning your characterization of love), whatever love is, I like to think that it is undefinable, it just is.
Concerning the importance of love. Apart from the message of salvation—and who knows, maybe they are connected, as the love between a man and women is just as mysterious in nature as the love between Christ and the church—the single most important message we can give our children and children’s children is this: Though it comes with great frustrations, never take love for granted. And, God forbid that our expression of love should ever become routine.
United by God Forever
Being summoned by the enchanting beauty of undefinable love that which is most inspiring, at least in my life, is that it cannot be faked. And unlike the sirens of Greek mythology, there is no evil element of pretense in everlasting love. For Becky, love is as simple as putting someone else’s needs above her own. This point is critical, for as lady love moves her honored victims beyond mere existence into the beguiling realm of forever, it is not enough to just live together in a black and-white world of dedicated commitment, but to embrace each other for all eternity, knowing that you have been glued together by God. This love cannot be defined—it must be experienced.
Giving more in return than I have contributed, life has on several occasions taken me momentarily into a faultless world of unimaginable beauty - August 7, 1970 happened to be one of those times. Until we have no choice but to be separated only by death we are united by God forever.
Until we can sit down together I remain faithfully yours,